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| In school again...been a while since I've written on here.
I have someone in my life, but feel lonely. So very lonely. I don't ask
for much. I don't require roses on valentines day. I don't require
constant attention. When I do want attention I want someone to hold me
and really recognize that I'm there. Nothing special, just don't treat
me like shit. Say thank you when I do things for you, like any normal
person would. Be a respectful human being to everyone around you.
That's all I ask.
My heart hurts. I'm letting go because I know I must. This time will be
much much harder because I have no man to fall back on. No one to hold
me when I cry. No one to make love to me. No one to just want to be
around me.
I've worked so hard to get this far, why does it hurt so much?
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| Again, lonliness has found me. I'm getting back to the point where I
want someone to hold again. I miss romance so much. I miss someone
laying warm kisses down my neck. I miss having someone to hold me and
tell me everything is going to be alright. I miss having someone
passionately throw me against a wall and want nothing in the world but
me. To touch me, hold me, carress me, kiss me. I miss that so much.
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| So, wow....I'm stressed out. I'm doing my best to keep my cool but loneliness is creeping in like a slow leak. Patrick is gone now, he moved last Wednesday. This is the first time in years I've left someone without someone else to fall back on. I take that back, I do have someone to fall back on, Alex. He's my saving grace right now, my own personal little angel. Poor kid, lord knows I make him hug me more than he wants to.
Things are generally doing well. I quit school and I feel twenty times lighter than I did previously. The idea of school is appealing and daunting at the same time. I'm just not ready for it right now. | | |
| So...it never ceases to amaze me how negletful people can be. Just when I think humanity has begun to redeem itself in my eyes one of my friends goes and shits in my face. So much for trust, support, and sincerity. If people have a problem with me or think I'm a joke I wish they would just tell me because this is bullshit.
How do you know when someone is trustworthy or not? How do you know when you can tell someone something and expect them to not tell anyone else? How do you know when your business is safe?
It pisses me the fuck off that I can't trust people I call friends. I know about gossip and shit, I realize that happens, but this extent is bullshit. What sucks even worse is that there is someone out there waiting for anything negative about me in order to rub shit in my face. When this gets back to them, I catch hell, and that fuckin sucks.
More later... | | |
| So I'm bored. I'm at work and I'm eternally bored. I'm getting tired of school. I can't wait until the next four weeks are up, I'll get a one month break then, and I'm really looking forward to it.
I'm actually awake this morning without caffiene which is a nice change. I'm getting to the point now where I'm almost dreading coming to work. I can't believe how stupid and ignorant people can be sometimes.
I'm worried about a friend who is very sick right now. He has a very high fever and needs to go to the doctor. I may need to leave work to go take him.
My hand hurts...I hurt my thumb last Wednesday now my hand is all bruised. I have been wearing a brace but my hand is getting chafed so I'm taking a break.
I'm sick of people asking me questions and then having me explain it in four different ways. I'm about to go crazy! Crazy ass stupid ignorant idiots who think they will make it going through college when all they're really doing is perpetuating a never ending cycle of failure and they are spending our tax dollars doing that.
AAaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm turning into a crazy person! | | |
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